Self care – Page 2 – Little Challenges

The pleasant list

In our recent interview, behavioural scientist Aline Holzwarth introduced me to the concept of the ‘Pleasant Events Schedule’ – a list of simple, widely-enjoyed activities – used in clinical psychology.

I was curious to find out more, so this week I’ve been doing some reading…

The idea is simple: that doing things we enjoy (however small or apparently insignificant), can improve our mood and our perceived quality of life. In the early 1970s, researchers compiled a list of hundreds of pleasurable activities (as suggested by a diverse range of people) – which you can find towards the end of this document.

With an eclectic mix of entries ranging from ‘breathing clean air’, ‘caring for houseplants’ and ‘doing artwork’ to ‘being stubborn’, ‘scratching myself’ and ‘shoplifting’, it’s an entertaining read if you have a few moments to spare.

It seems that we tend to feel happier when we regularly include our favourite ‘Pleasant Events’ in our daily lives, however we often neglect to do this when life gets tough. For this reason, the ‘Pleasant Events Schedule’ is often recommended as a tool for easing symptoms of depression and improving quality of life amongst carers and people living with chronic illnesses.

Inspired by all I’ve read, I’ve started making a list of my own. It includes many items taken from the original document, including:

taking a nap
playing basketball
smiling at people
learning to do something new

However I’ve thought up several new ones I want to include too:

talking to guinea pigs
looking at colourful things
making up nonsense songs with my teenage son
going for walks in the pouring rain, just for the joy of getting warm and dry again afterwards

I haven’t started using it yet, but simply compiling the list seems to be a cheering activity in its own right. I can recommend it.

So if you were to create a list, what would you include?

An afternoon ‘reboot’

When I was growing up, my parents always napped after lunch. Each day at 1:30pm they were to be found fast asleep in their respective armchairs, rugs upon their knees and the television murmuring quietly in the background. At the time I didn’t realise that they were unusual in doing so – that most people didn’t work from home and couldn’t nap even if they wanted to – and it came as quite a surprise to discover that napping wasn’t a universal practice.

Like many people I went through a phase of wanting to do everything as differently from my parents as possible, so for a while I was a determined non-napper, using caffeine, sugar and sheer obstinacy to help me through the saggy bit of the afternoon. However, in recent years my behaviour has started to change – largely because I can’t help but notice that a brief period of sleep has the most extraordinarily restorative effect on me. It’s like an afternoon ‘reboot’. In just the same way I might try turning electronic devices off and on again when they start malfunctioning, I find that I think better, feel happier and am more creative and resourceful after just a few minutes of switched-off-ness. And it seems I’m not alone…

It seems that the length of nap is all important. In this study, researchers found that the optimum nap length is 10 minutes. Much shorter and the associated benefits (improved cognitive ability, increased vigour and reduced fatigue) don’t show up. Much longer and there’s a risk of experiencing ‘sleep inertia’ – waking in a state of confusion, mental fogginess and exhaustion.

This study suggests that early afternoon is the best time for a nap and that napping regularly works better than occasionally.

It’s also worth knowing that very frequent or long-lasting daytime naps can be associated with reduced mental and physical health (more here).

In Daniel Pink’s excellent book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing he explores the subject in detail, including a description of how to take the perfect ‘nappuccino’ – a coffee/snooze combination that seems to bring the greatest benefits of any type of nap.

So, after all these years, I’m beginning to think that my parents were onto something with their little siesta. How amused they’d be to hear me say that…

What’s your safety net?

One of the most important things I’ve done over the last two years has been to create myself a ‘safety net’: a set of protective factors that support me in staying well.

I’ve discovered that lots of different things help me, but three of the most important are:

getting some kind of exercise
going outdoors, no matter what the weather
getting to bed before midnight

When life gets busy, I’ve noticed that it can be tempting to imagine that these things are luxuries. That it wouldn’t hurt to neglect them for a day or six. And initially it doesn’t seem to matter that much…

But, before I know it, I’m feeling just a bit more anxious. A bit less able to think clearly. A bit less patient with my nearest and dearest. A bit more critical of myself. A bit less hopeful about the future.

In just the same way that tiny positive changes can have a surprisingly huge effect over time, these little lapses really add up. And when they do and life gets really tough – as it seems to, sooner or later – it can seem completely unimaginable that such simple things as exercise, fresh air and sleep could bring any real relief.

For years people told me about the benefits of small, practical things like these and I smiled and ignored them. Behind the smile I even felt slightly indignant. How could they imagine that problems as terrible as mine would respond to such unremarkable things? (Good old ego…)

And yet, it turned out that unremarkable things exactly like these were able to help me turn a completely unmanageable life into really rather a nice one.

I suspect that everybody’s safety net needs to be slightly different. (I’m very definitely a morning person, so getting to bed before midnight matters to me, but might not to someone else.) I also suspect that it’s important to adjust one’s net from time to time. Optimise the tension. Make sure it’s still doing its job properly.

So, I’m curious…. do you have a safety net too?

If so, what does yours consist of?